When people ask me how I've been able to achieve all the successes I have given the trauma of my childhood, my answer is always the same, "What else was I supposed to do?".
To me, the only options were to survive or die and since I'd long since put the idea out of my head to harm myself, I had to keep putting one foot after another in the only way I knew how, through determination and perseverance.
That doesn't mean I didn't struggle.
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, the effects of my abuse resulted in approval seeking and people pleasing. This played out in two ways, first I was a love and sex addict but at the same time, I was afraid of intimacy from the fear of being engulfed and losing my autonomy. Second, I desperately wanted to belong, to be accepted, and acknowledged as intelligent, put together, and successful so I molded myself into a person I thought other people would love.
Through education and practice and with loving and encouraging support, I began to understand how the wounds from my past affected my everyday life. I learned that my emotions created my thoughts, my thoughts created my actions, and my actions created my results and those results recreated the same emotions of pain, stress, grief, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, worry, anxiety, and shame.
Some of the life choices of abuse survivors like me are,
- choosing partners who mistreat, disrespect or undervalue you or perhaps partners you can easily manipulate and control.
- repeating patterns of behavior you witnessed as a child in your relationships with your spouse, partner or children.
- remaining in intimate relationships despite them being violent, emotionally unhealthy or mentally or sexually unsatisfying.
- using sex, alcohol, drugs, shopping, eating or television as a means of escaping or avoiding your pain.
- isolating and avoiding creating strong and deep bonds with others.
- putting yourself second because you only feel special and worthy and approved of when you do more for others than you do for yourself.
- procrastinating and wanting everything to be perfect before you can do something.
Recognizing and understanding the roots of these patterns of behavior is one of the keys to personal evolution. When I began to connect the dots between my past and the results in my life, I began to feel more empowered and committed to creating the life I desired, letting go of my attachment to others' validation and approval.
I'm now on a mission to empower, inspire, and support women to create and live an emotionally healthy, vibrant, and fulfilled life because feeling at peace, happy, satisfied, fulfilled and complete within yourself and in your relationships is what you deserve.
Making positive changes in life doesn't have to be hard but it can often feel like the most difficult challenge. Having support is paramount during a time of change. A supportive and healthy environment along with the right network of friends, family, a coach or mentor will help propel you toward success.
As a personal growth and empowerment coach, I use personal experience and professional training to bring clarity, focus, and insight into the unique challenges adult survivors of childhood abuse face.
I work with my clients to release past traumas, connect with their true selves, experience emotional freedom, and live a fulfilling life using three foundational elements of what it means to be an empowered conscious creator:
- Self Awareness - embrace and integrate how you came to be who you are and where you are today.
- Personal Accountability - assume responsibility for your decisions and the outcomes of your choices.
- Personal Integrity - develop a daily practice of living and speaking honestly from your true self.
When you evolve beyond the limitations your past has placed on you, you feel inspired and committed to create the life you desire and empowered and connected to your innate power to shift the trajectory of your life. You are able to recognize and stand up for your values and enforce your boundaries and feel decisive and ready to take action with a strong sense of purpose and direction.
Book a free call now https://calendly.com/nadiajcharles to learn how to work with me so you can create better results in your life.