You can’t see emotional scars but if left untreated they will begin to infect not only the point of injury but surrounding areas as well such as your self-worth and self-esteem.

These wounds can go unnoticed for a long time surprising and confusing you when they surface because they don’t look like low self-esteem or low self-worth, rather they sneak up on you as symptoms.

Symptoms like impatience, intolerance, lashing out in anger, being physically abusive, accepting physical abuse, belittling, bullying, depression, suicidal thoughts, attempting suicide, poor grades, mood swings, food addiction, chemical addiction, alcohol addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, co-dependence, extramarital affairs, inability to express emotions, closed-off or walled up, social anxiety, anxiety attacks, obsessive tendencies, constant fantasizing, mental breakdowns, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, weight fluctuation, being overweight, anorexia, bulimia, distrusting, manipulating, controlling, solitude, lying, compartmentalizing, and the list goes on.

I wish all doctors were like Dr. House but they’re not. I’ve been lucky to have been treated by true diagnosticians when I’ve been physically ill in that rather than putting a band-aid on the symptom, they have searched for the root cause and addressed it on a deeper level rather than on a surface level.

Alas, not everyone can afford multiple lab tests to search for the root cause of their physical ailments and so band-aid after band-aid after band-aid are applied to fix one symptom or the other only for other symptoms to surface which only leads to greater expenses than if the money had been spent initially to discover the root cause.

Emotional wounds are treated much in the same way. We learn how to deal with AKA put a band-aid on the individual symptoms as opposed to taking the time to discover the root cause of our symptoms. We take an effective communication class or go to anger management meetings or take medication to calm down or cheer up or yo-yo diet to lose weight or go to counseling for 16 years telling the same stories over and over again.

We have internal mechanisms that heal our physical scars but no such mechanisms exist for emotional scars so how does one heal?

One of the things that naturally aids in the healing process of our physical wounds is oxygen. You can Google the science of oxygen and wound healing but suffice it to say that oxygen is required for healthy cell creation and regeneration and we are made up of cells.

The equivalent of oxygen on an emotional level is exposing the source of our wounds, the root causes and expressing their symptoms and consequences on our lives. Lastly, prevention is required to ensure we are not re-wounded in the same ways, AKA by re-building our emotional immune system.

It sounds simple but it’s not easy and it takes time. You may say “I ain’t got time for that” and that’s just a lie you tell yourself so you don’t have to face the biggest fear you have, the fear that you are not.

Not strong enough

Not good enough

Not brave enough

Not deserving enough

Not worthy enough

Not woman enough

Whether you’re aware of it or not, these beliefs are stopping you from taking loving and necessary action to create the life you deserve and desire. YOU ARE ENOUGH but you will never realize that until you stop ignoring your pain and rip off the band-aids. It’ll sting for a bit but it will not hurt you, it will release you to build up your sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

Self-worth must be rooted from the inside out, coming to terms with the emotional damage done and taking steps to rewind the lingering trauma so that it does not result in what is more often than not, a seeking of external validation and approval in things or people that only adds anxiety and pressure to perform or to be perfect.

Self-esteem, like self-worth, is an inside job that requires daily action to support feeling good about yourself. That means taking care of yourself in ways that nourish and support you and bring you comfort, peace, joy, satisfaction, happiness, contentment and fulfillment. When you feel good about yourself, the words and actions of others have less power over your emotional well-being.