When you detach or let go of situations or people that no longer serve you, you may find yourself feeling lost, alone, or confused. When you come to the decision to detach, to let go of the thing or the person that causes more pain than joy, it’s because you realized the person you were being in that situation didn’t feel good to you. You didn’t feel safe. You didn’t feel secure. You didn’t feel seen or heard or respected or honored or loved.

Logically, you know that letting go is the best thing to do, the healthy thing to do. Emotionally, you feel directionless, wondering, “what now”? Asking yourself, “who am I?” and “what do I do now?”

So who are you without that relationship or that job? Who are you without that money or status? Who are you without that addiction? Who are you without that drama? Who are you and how do you figure it out?

I’ve been in this unsettling place many times and I can tell you that it’s okay to be here. I’ve learned that it’s a time to realign, not a time to beat myself up. It’s an amazing and beautiful opportunity to rediscover you and what you truly want for yourself. It’s the perfect opportunity to redesign your life.

I won’t say that it’s not scary because it is. It’s scary because you’ve never been in this exact place before. You don’t have a map to navigate your way out. It’s scary to not know what’s coming around the corner. The truth is you can never know what’s coming. What you can do is be prepared for anything.

So the question to ask yourself, is not, “who am I?” but “who am I becoming?” The answer to that question is uniquely yours, and it’s also how you prepare yourself for whatever life places in your path.

Who you become happens through realignment, not reinvention because the true essence of who you are is already perfect, it doesn’t need to be remade, it just needs to be revealed.

To realign is to restore the connection to your true self and you do that by listening. To realign is to remember that at your core, you are love, that you are deserving of love and respect and honor and abundance. That is your birthright.

In being something you’re not, in order to please others or gain approval or status, you move further and further away from your true self. In allowing others to mistreat you reinforces the myth that you are unlovable and unworthy.

Realigning brings you closer to yourself, deepening your internal relationship, creating space for greater personal understanding and self-love so that you can begin again to move in the direction of your values, your vision, and your goals which will serve your highest good.

The process of realignment creates a force field around you that toxic, unhealthy and unsupportive beliefs, and people bounce off of.

The process of realignment entails several steps before our true essence can be revealed:

  • Reflect

  • Reevaluate

  • Release

  • Remove & Replace

I’ll address each of these steps in subsequent blog posts within the context of realigning oneself.