Education & Career
- Mind Body Wellness Practitioner, Southwest Institute of Healing Arts
- Business Systems Oversight Manager, Deloitte & Touche
- Master of Science (M.S.L.I.S.) Library and Information Science, Long Island University, Palmer School
- Peace Corps Education & HIV/AIDS Volunteer, Cameroon, West Africa
- Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) Political Science & International Studies, History Minor, State University of New York at Cortland
My Favorite Things
A cup of tea & a good book
When people ask me how I survived the trauma of my childhood, I'm always baffled.
I didn't have an answer for them because in truth, I was just existing, not living. I hadn't overcome my trauma, I was just living with the invisible scars. I wanted to have this great story of courage and triumph but instead, it was a story of sadness, emptiness, loneliness, disconnection, anxiety, and despair.
I realized how deeply depressed I was when I went away to college. My freshman year could have been my last year on earth because thoughts of harming myself were a constant. I wasn't good at making friends, my grades suffered, and I was discovering that I liked girls.
Time passed and I became an adult. I completed college, traveled, got a Master's degree, got hired at a prestigious company where I've worked since 2006, bought a home, then another, and had a social life. From all outward appearances, I was a successful, confident young woman.
But on the inside, I was a mess. I struggled with my sexuality and in relationships. I had panic attacks and didn't know how to connect with my emotions, much less handle them. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted out of life.
The effects of my sexual, physical, and emotional abuse resulted in approval seeking and people pleasing. This played out in two ways, I was a love and sex addict but at the same time, I was afraid of intimacy from the fear of being engulfed and losing my autonomy. In addition, I desperately wanted to belong, to be accepted, and acknowledged as intelligent, put together, and successful so I molded myself into a person I thought other people would love.
Through education and practice and with loving and encouraging support, I began to understand how the wounds from my past affected my everyday life. I learned that my emotions created my thoughts, my thoughts created my actions, and my actions created my results and those results recreated the same emotions of pain, stress, grief, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, worry, anxiety, and shame.
Some of the life choices of abuse survivors like me are,
- choosing partners who mistreat, disrespect or undervalue you or perhaps partners you can easily manipulate and control.
- repeating patterns of behavior you witnessed as a child in your relationships with your spouse, partner or children.
- remaining in intimate relationships despite them being violent, emotionally unhealthy or mentally or sexually unsatisfying.
- using sex, alcohol, drugs, shopping, eating or television as a means of escaping or avoiding your pain.
- isolating and avoiding creating strong and deep bonds with others.
- putting yourself second because you only feel special and worthy and approved of when you do more for others than you do for yourself.
- procrastinating and wanting everything to be perfect before you can do something.
Recognizing and understanding the roots of these patterns of behavior is one of the keys to personal evolution. When I began to connect the dots between my past and the results in my life, I began to feel more empowered and committed to creating the life I desired, letting go of my attachment to others' validation and approval.
I'm now on a mission to empower, inspire, and support women to create and live an emotionally healthy, vibrant, and fulfilled life because feeling at peace, happy, satisfied, fulfilled and complete within yourself and in your relationships is what you deserve.
Making positive changes in life doesn't have to be hard but it can often feel like the most difficult challenge. Having support is paramount during a time of change. A supportive and healthy environment along with the right network of friends, family, a coach or mentor will help propel you toward success.
As a mind body wellness practitioner, I use personal experience and professional training in life coaching, hypnotherapy, and aromatherapy to bring clarity, focus, and insight into the unique challenges adult survivors of childhood abuse face.
I work with my clients to release past traumas, connect with their true selves, experience emotional freedom, and live a fulfilling life using three foundational elements of what it means to be an empowered conscious creator:
- Self Awareness - embrace and integrate how you came to be who you are and where you are today.
- Personal Accountability - assume responsibility for your decisions and the outcomes of your choices.
- Personal Integrity - develop a daily practice of living and speaking honestly from your true self.
When you evolve beyond the limitations your past has placed on you, you feel inspired and committed to create the life you desire and empowered and connected to your innate power to shift the trajectory of your life. You are able to recognize and stand up for your values and enforce your boundaries and feel decisive and ready to take action with a strong sense of purpose and direction.